Literally

First of all, let me say that I'm pissed. What has my panties in a bunch this time, you may ask? Well. There is an epidemic of misusing the word "literally" in this country (particularly among contestants on The Biggest Loser) and Mish and I simply won't stand for it anymore. We are nipping this thing in the bud and we're doing it right this minute. Literally.

According to Dictionary.com, literally means "in the literal or strict sense; word for word; without exaggeration or inaccuracy." It means that what you are saying is exactly what happened. So no, you did not literally die when Golden Girls went off the air. The way you know your heart didn't literally beat out of your chest before a Biggest Loser challenge is that you are still breathing. And if Abby Wambach had literally carried the US Women's World Cup team to victory against Brazil as the commentator claimed, she would have had one hell of a shattered back.

Still confused? Allow us to help. 

Correct: "The fog was so thick I literally couldn't see my hand in front of my face." 
Incorrect: "I'm literally dead on my feet." Really. Is that so? You're one talented corpse if you can speak and stand with no pulse.

Correct: "The tornado literally swept me off my feet." 
Incorrect: "I literally ate the whole fridge." How the hell did you manage that? Every time I try to eat the fridge I wind up choking on the glass shelves and the cheese drawer.

Correct: "I literally jumped for joy." 
Incorrect: "I literally swallowed my words." Congratulations. I didn't think words were even tangible.

So there you have it. Please, for the love of God, f you find yourself saying "literally" to describe any situation that did not actually happen, give yourself a firm smack across the face. And spread the word.