So That Happened

This has been quite the week. Buckle your seatbelts.

1) I'm currently taking a break from filling out my ballot, which I have not actually begun to fill out yet. The first thing I did when I reached for the voter's pamphlet was accidentally drool on myself. Nothing says "I'm a mature and capable citizen of these here United States" quite like expelling a huge wad of spit onto my own chest.

2) The other morning I was halfway to Seattle on the bus when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant.

3) Two days in a row when I arrived at work, my keyboard was missing. Rather than search for it around the office, I sat down at another computer. Several hours later, one of my editors walked by. "Hey Olivia," she said. "Just felt like moving today?" All of a sudden it seemed very very childish to respond, "Someone stole my keyboard!" I just nodded.

4) I just found a typo on my ballot: "This proposition would authorize King County to fix and impose an additional sales and use tax of 0.2% spilt between the county (60%) and cities (40%)." I am glad, though, that they've done their math correctly. Those two percentages do indeed add up to 100. So at least Washington state has that going for it. Update: I found the same error in the voter's pamphlet. In a way, it doesn't matter now if Dino Rossi becomes our new senator. We can't even spell "split."

5) I spent all day Thursday transcribing an interview the senior editor had recorded using a dinky ghetto tape recorder. A tape recorder. Remember those...from back before the Big Bang? So I plugged in my earphones but the sound was only coming out of one ear. Off to a great start. The interview took place in a coffee shop, so if I had the volume up too loud there was too much background noise, and if I had it down too low I couldn't hear the woman's responses. I swear the barista was trying to sabotage the interview, because every time the woman started to say something that sounded like it might be important, the milk steamer would start or someone would shout out an order. From the constant stopping and rewinding--often upwards of 30 times to decipher a single word--I doubt I got more than ten minutes into the tape. At one point, after listening to one line approximately 25 times, I was convinced the woman said "seat in Vermont." Of course this made absolutely zero sense in the context of the question. I had another intern listen to it, and on the first time she was able to tell me that the correct phrase was "meet with her mom." Why am I the worst transcriber ever?

6) I was filling out the crossword this morning (and by "filling out," I mean reading a clue, deciding I have no idea what it even means, and moving on to the next one). The clue for 1 Across was something along the lines of "These two letters spell confection." In my head I was trying to envision the logo for pure cane sugar. I knew it was pink and blue and started with a C. I wasn't positive, but I was fairly certain the second letter was W. I asked my mom, and rather than tell me the answer straight out she launched into the jingle from the Hawaiian cane sugar commercial that used to run when she was a kid, complete with hula moves. (In case you were curious, and as slow as me, it's C&H.)

I Googled "Hawaiian cane sugar commercial" to see if I could find any images from the commercial my mom used to watch. This was what I got. A small Asian mongoose.

7) My magazine sent me to a production of Hamlet last night at the Seattle Center so I could review it in a blog post--not this blog (obviously). In an email I'd received from the guy in charge of press passes, he said he'd have my "tickets and press packet" next to Will Call. I should have registered that "tickets" is plural--meaning MORE than one--and invited someone to go with me (although I didn't really have anyone to invite). But no, I went alone. And boy did I feel like a tool when on opening night the only empty seat in the entire theater was right next to me. (Regardless of that embarrassment, it was still hands-down the best performance of Hamlet I've ever seen. I encourage you all to go at once. It runs through December 5th at the Center House Theatre.)

This is Darragh Kennan, the grieving and sardonic Prince Hamlet in Seattle Shakespeare's production. I am so totally in love with him...even though he kind of looks like a creepy hybrid of David Spade and a young Mr. Rogers. Hamlet has never been this sexy. (Sorry, Kenneth Branagh. I still love you too.)

I'm pretty sure that's all the awkwardness for this week. Well, it's definitely not, but it's all I can remember. I'll try to do better next time.