1. When I got into work on Thursday, the lights were all off. Some cubicles come equipped with lamps, but mine is not among them. For about 45 minutes I was sitting in complete darkness. I wrote "Why are we living in a cave?" on a pink Post-It and held it up to the glass window separating my cubicle from my friend Clancey's. She smiled and shook her head. Soon after that my editor flipped the light switch. It was like sunrise in super fast motion. It was glorious.
2. I was video chatting with my friend Meaghin on Skype last night and she was sending me some gorgeous photos she's taken. One of them was a picture of a bee in mid-air, taken with her film camera. Because she'd scanned it onto the computer, the photo was titled "beescan." Me being me, I thought it read as "bees can" rather than the painfully obvious "bee scan."
3. There's a guy at work who looks exactly like Mitch from Modern Family. Here's a picture, in case you're unfamiliar with Jesse Tyler Ferguson:
Office Mitch (as I've taken to calling him in my head) has the exact same color hair, same beard, same style, same glasses (I realize JTF is not wearing glasses in this photo, but when he does they're identical to Office Mitch's glasses), and nearly identical body type. It's totally eerie.
4. My mom's birthday was this past week. I asked her what kind of cake she wanted, and she said almond poppy seed. She wanted it made from a specific recipe--one that called for Solo Almond Paste--for two reasons: 1) "I love the recipe," and 2) "The recipe is on the backside of the label. I just really want you to peel the wrapper off the can in the middle of the grocery store, just to see if you will." I should mention that over the years I've grown to resent my "good girl" image. Not so much, however, that I'm willing to do anything drastic to change it, but enough that I took my mother's cake request as a personal challenge. This would be the perfect opportunity to prove that a life of crime was something I chose not to pursue, rather than something I couldn't have pursued if my existence depended on it.
Fast forward to the grocery store. It was 9:30pm and the aisles were basically deserted. I found the can of Solo Almond Paste and, feeling very self-conscious about removing the label, hid in the organic section of the produce aisle and set to work tearing up the wrapper--millimeter by millimeter, checking over my shoulder with each rip--with the edge of my car key.
When it was off, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Look at me, I thought. I'm such a rebel. I could just walk right out this door with my can of almond paste and no one would know! Unfortunately, as luck would have it--or maybe just as my luck would have it--neither of the two recipes on the back of the label were for almond poppy seed cake. And, because I'm never really going to be badass no matter how hard I try, I felt obligated to buy the almond paste just because I'd removed the wrapper. (Maybe next time I'll just leave the can on the shelf! Okay, so I won't. But baby steps, right?)
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