Bones

I have recently acquired for myself yet another addictive vice: the television show Bones. On a scale of 1 to Complete Emulation of Major Characters, I'd say I have entered the I'd Like to Be Their Best Friend level of obsession, which, as we all know, falls somewhere between Who the Heck is This Guy? and Why Am I Not Married to This Guy?

In high school I wanted to become a forensic anthropologist, so I like to pretend that this is a show about my unrealized, hypothetical life. Aside from the genius part, I honestly believe the character Temperance Brennan is the grown-up, successful version of me. I mean, she utters the phrase "I don't even know what that means" at least once every episode, has never played Monopoly, doesn't know the word for basketball, and can't understand the purpose or benefits of high-fiving. I'm impressed that creator Hart Hanson was able to achieve such levels of awkwardness in his lead character without first consulting me. And I thought I knew all the tricks...

In one scene of the episode I'm currently watching, Bones and her partner--FBI Special Agent Seely Booth--are investigating the deaths of several people killed in a bar fire. The manager of the bar is a little person and Bones, in her social ineptitude, keeps drawing attention to that fact. At one point Booth made a comment in front of Bones and the manager that they had to take "baby steps" to get to the bottom of the issue. After a moment, Bones laughed. "I get it," she said, turning to the manager. "It's funny because you're so little." Me. So me.

In another episode, the team was working with the body of a nine-year-old girl to determine cause of death:
Angela: She was a kid. A little girl. This shouldn't have been her childhood. Childhoods should be all about swings. How high can you go, and how long will I spin if I twist the chains...
Hodgins: How hard will I fall if I jump from here...
Angela: Exactly. I miss that.
Bones: I miss Organic Chemistry class. Those were good times.

Again. Me.