So That Happened

I ripped a sheet out of my notepad today to scribble down a takeout order before I called it in. I just got home and noticed that along the top part of the page I had written the following quote, which I overheard somewhere: "I know what you mean about being obsessed with something. I was once obsessed with hemorrhagic fevers and witchcraft in Japan." I have no earthly idea where this could have come from, so if you are reading this and either said it or know who did, please let me know.

My mom was just going through the King County Voters' Pamphlet for the upcoming elections and she started laughing. "Oh Liv," she said, "you'll love this. This guy doesn't list his elected experience, doesn't list his other professional experience. He wrote that he 'had many animals and allot'--A-L-L-O-T--'of responsibility. And here he writes 'it's soul' with an apostrophe S. He has a business degree from the U-Dumb--I mean Dub!"

I cut up some avocado for my quesadilla tonight and decided after I bit into it that warm avocado tastes exactly like baked chicken. I find this repulsive.

I was checking the grocery list on the refrigerator before I headed to the store. Underneath "yogurt" my mother had added "dog biscuits." We don't have a dog.

Somehow, a while ago, my dad got placed on some expectant mother mailing list. He's received everything from flyers on parenting seminars to free samples of Enfamil baby formula. My favorite treasure came last week, addressed to one Robert Nargoshes:

 

My dad learning how he, too, can "bust through breastfeeding."

Checking out the BabyTalk centerfold.

 I love that these people don't think twice before mailing a magazine whose demographic is only (not even primarily) new mothers, to a 61-year-old man whose youngest child graduated from college two years ago. And who, it bears repeating, is a MAN.