You Probably Don't Care

Welcome to "You Probably Don't Care," my latest blog segment wherein I will regale you with useless facts about my life. I decided it was high time I became an expert on myself, considering I spend so much time researching and writing articles for my internship that I have turned into something of a Seattle savant. (I'm kind of a big deal here.) I could tell you that the Evergreen Point Floating bridge is the longest of its kind in the world, or that Lake Union is 34 feet deep and its houseboat population of over 200 is the largest in the world outside of Asia. Here are 11 more things I can tell you:

1. I collect poetry book titles.
2. I collect greeting cards of elderly women with their mouths open and hands to their cheeks.
3. I have over 70 names for my cat.
4. The only time an unsanitary word escapes from my mouth is when I'm watching soccer. Actually, it doesn't so much "escape" my mouth as it does sledgehammer its way out.
5. Listening to "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People makes me feel like I'm one of the cool kids.
6. Proof that I am not a cool kid: I use the phrase "cool kids."
7. Reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin just made me bitter.
8. I use a beautifully bound collection of seven Jane Austen novels as a doorstop. I mean no disrespect to Ms. Austen. And I am just now realizing that I have quite a hefty selection of Norton anthologies that are all thicker and heavier. I use the Norton Anthology of American Literature as a doorstop.
9. I listen to "Live There" by The Lonely Forest whenever I need to feel a little Evergreen State pride. I get all verklempt when they sing "I just want to live here, love here, and die here."
10. You know I mean business when I whip out the Yiddish. (That's almost a slant rhyme, right?)
11. I'm sure I've mentioned this here before, but it bears repeating: If a house fire were to trap me upstairs with my cat, I would, in less than a heartbeat, sacrifice myself to get her to safety. I am well aware of how crazy this makes me.