Olivia's Least Favorite Things
3. The L.A. Galaxy. Will anyone who actually likes this team please tell me why? (I will automatically invalidate any reason involving David Beckham.)
4. This next item made the cut because it so impressively combines my favorite thing in the world (public radio) with something that makes me wish I was never born. See for yourself. This is an excerpt from an NPR interview with Amy Dickinson, syndicated advice columnist, who invited readers to write in about the worst gift they ever received.
6. Whatever the hell this is.
7. Typos on business signs.
8. Microwave for One. I can't think of a single thing more profoundly depressing, except for maybe the boyfriend pillow. (Both of which are likely going on my next Christmas list.)
9. Army-run dollhouses. I'm guessing this was pre-Third Amendment.
10. Leaky kayaks.
There you have it. I'll let you know if I manage to unearth any more photographic evidence of me doing something stupid and/or embarrassing. For now, though, I'll leave you with that parting image of my soaking wet rear end. You're welcome.
1. Croc cell phone case. Because it wasn't freakish enough to just wear them on your feet.
2. An unsolicited gym membership. Nothing makes you reevaluate your friendships like a not-so-subtle suggestion to lay off the Double Stuf Oreos, you tub of lard.
3. The L.A. Galaxy. Will anyone who actually likes this team please tell me why? (I will automatically invalidate any reason involving David Beckham.)4. This next item made the cut because it so impressively combines my favorite thing in the world (public radio) with something that makes me wish I was never born. See for yourself. This is an excerpt from an NPR interview with Amy Dickinson, syndicated advice columnist, who invited readers to write in about the worst gift they ever received.
Amy Dickinson: Merry Christmas, Neal. Let's get to it, shall we?
Neal Conan: Okay. Right.
Amy Dickinson: Dear Amy, it was a Christmas toilet, a blue one...
(Soundbite of laughter)
Amy Dickinson: ...we put it in the basement. It still scares me.
Other gifts mentioned in this interview include, but are not limited to: a cemetery plot, a shotgun and a hunting jacket, and an already used, still sticky smoothie blender from a mother who "refuses to take suggestions."
Amy Dickinson: Dear Amy, it was a Christmas toilet, a blue one...
(Soundbite of laughter)
Amy Dickinson: ...we put it in the basement. It still scares me.
Other gifts mentioned in this interview include, but are not limited to: a cemetery plot, a shotgun and a hunting jacket, and an already used, still sticky smoothie blender from a mother who "refuses to take suggestions."
5. I am being told by Google that the USA's loss to Panama in this year's Gold Cup classifies as an "awful gift." I'll go with it, just because I watched that game and happen to agree that "awful" is an appropriate adjective.
6. Whatever the hell this is.
7. Typos on business signs.Mind you, I am not against all typos. For example, this next one makes my life worth living:
8. Microwave for One. I can't think of a single thing more profoundly depressing, except for maybe the boyfriend pillow. (Both of which are likely going on my next Christmas list.)
9. Army-run dollhouses. I'm guessing this was pre-Third Amendment.
10. Leaky kayaks.There you have it. I'll let you know if I manage to unearth any more photographic evidence of me doing something stupid and/or embarrassing. For now, though, I'll leave you with that parting image of my soaking wet rear end. You're welcome.
What about evil Croatian supermarket cashiers??? Hmmm????
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, how could I forget them?! And Roman hostel receptionists with zebra-striped cowboy hats who force us to drink his sangria.
ReplyDelete