"What the Eff is a Spade Mashie?"

There are many things my favorite cousin Naomi and I have in common: Poor navigational skills when it comes to locating the grocery store five minutes from our grandmother's old house in Tulsa, Oklahoma; a simultaneous revulsion of/magnetism to crossword puzzles; remarkably similar senses of humor; and birthdays six days apart.
 
Naomi is a senior at Whitman College in Walla Walla--a mere 4.5-hour drive from the booming metropolis of Woodinville. This year for the weekend between our birthdays, I loaded up my dad's blue Toyota Matrix (Lloyd) with every item of inclement weather garb in my closet, Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods burned onto five CDs, and a banana and embarked on the cross-state journey to the city so nice they named it twice.

We'd received generous monetary donations from various members of our family to treat ourselves to a nice birthday dinner. This birthday dinner received so much funding, however, that we were also able to indulge in pre-dinner birthday drinks at Jimgerman Bar in Waitsburg, birthday chocolates at Petits Noir Chocolate Boutique in Milton Freewater, Oregon, birthday gelato at the Walla Walla Patisserie, and a delicious birthday brunch at T. Maccarone's.

Monstrous eggs and veggies

Monstrous french toast

Needless to say, we did a lot of eating. In between meals we could be found strolling through the quaint, sleepy Walla Walla streets or shouting various profanities at one or more of three  crossword puzzles that consumed both our time and our sanity. Other activities of note included visiting the Pioneer Park Aviary and befriending its winged residents, conversing with Mr. Patel, the delightfully chatty Indian employee of the Walla Walla Travelodge, and discussing the strangeness of trees.


This here is probably our finest accomplishment of the weekend: A "finished" Friday NY Times Daily Crossword featuring such infuriatingly cryptic clues as "Ice cream eponym" (edy), "Glycerides, e.g." (esters), "Loud horn" (klaxon), "___ cat" (manx), "Prefix with biology" (exo), and "Spade mashie" (six iron), the last of which prompted the oft-shouted, "What the eff is a spade mashie?!" at such inopportune moments as during mealtimes, treks across campus, and immediately upon waking up in the morning. We were also displeased by the clue "Cooler" which we knew  began with a P and was followed by two blanks. On the right side of the paper you can see my not-so-extensive list of potential three-letter words. Note that the only word missing--"pen"--was, of course, the answer. I'm sorry, but how is a cooler a pen?

We also shouldered the distinct burden of attempting a NY Magazine crossword whose clues were written by our 42nd president--the one and only Bill Clinton. Enraged by our inability to decipher the hints, we coined one of our most common battle cries of the weekend: "Screw you, Bill Clinton!" (The more subdued exclamation of frustration being, "Who voted for this guy?"  

Overall, a wonderful weekend. I am so lucky to have a cousin who couldn't be more perfect if I had hand-picked her. I can't wait to see her again in March, and again after that in May when she graduates. Thank you for the perfect birthday, Cous Cous! I love you!