So That Happened

Today I am introducing a new weekly segment here on my blog, which I like to call "So That Happened." It will be all about events from the past week: my blunders, embarrassments, "good" ideas, AHA! moments, and of course the requisite awkward instances that have come to define me.

1. I got home from work this evening and my mom said, "I have exciting news!" and then tacked on an even more enthusiastic, "About ME!" as if exciting news by definition has nothing to do with her. The news was this: She sells her pottery on Orcas Island at a shop called Crow Valley Pottery. Today she spoke to one of the owners who asked if she had any more "leaf" mugs (mugs into which she presses kiwi leaves) because the last two in the shop had been bought. And guess who bought them! (If you're my Facebook friend you already know, but I like to pretend that I have a wider readership than I do, that people read this who have never met me, which is erroneous thinking but I'm going with it.) Give up? Josh Groban! My mom's response: "Tell him I have more mugs here!"

2. Best moment of the week: When walking to the bus stop this morning, I was listening to a special Listeners' Favorites recap episode of Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! My dream came true when Peter Sagal announced that they would be replaying the "Not My Job" segment with special guest Ice-T. Thank you LORD!

3. Worst moment of the week: The bus arrived and I climbed aboard and sat down. Just as I was noting that the seats appeared to be made out of something closely resembling vinyl, the driver slammed on the brakes and I slid right off and practically onto the floor. Luckily there was only one other person on the bus at the time and he seemed to be too busy picking his nose to notice the crazy girl scrambling to right herself. Still, though. Why does this stuff only seem to happen to me? I think I absorb everyone else's awkward.

3. Toward the end of my time in Australia, I made scrambled eggs almost every night for dinner so I could use up a large portion of the produce I had left and so I wouldn't have to throw anything out when I vacated my apartment. I got scrambles down to an art, with onions and shredded potatoes, oregano and thyme, tomatoes and mushrooms. Tonight my mom had a craving for eggs, so I made a huge saucepan (you could pretty much call it a vat) of my special Australian eggs. It smelled delicious as it cooked, but the closer it came to being done, the more it looked like I had cracked someone's head open on the side of the frying pan and their brains had spilled out, all pinkish grey. When we sat down to eat, my grandma was asking what I'd put in it. "So you have onions and potatoes..." and my mom chimed in with, "Tomatoes..." Then my grandma moved a piece of something with her fork, a puzzled look on her face, and asked, "What's the green?" That would be the mushrooms. Only I could make white button mushrooms look nauseous. FML.

4. Someone was clipping their nails this morning on the bus.

I think that's enough awkwardness for one week. I don't want to drive you away.