Monday, September 6, 2010

My Child Will Be the BoM

Remember my obsession with the Australian television series McLeod's Daughters? And remember how irate I was that the main character, Claire, was killed off at the end of the third season? Yes. Well. I'm still pissed. But I bring this up because at the beginning of the season she gave birth to a girl whom she affectionately referred to as "BoM" (Baby of McLeod). It thrills me that not only I am also a BoM (Baby of Margoshes), but I will also have a BoM. To ensure that this remains the case even if my offspring voices a strong desire to take my husband's last name, I have compiled a list of men I could marry who all have last names beginning with the letter M. As the end of the list will indicate, I'm not picky:

Tracy Marrow - A.K.A. ICE-T, BABY!!!!!!!! WE ARE SOULMATES!







Pat Monahan - The lead singer of Train. I recall telling my friends during our freshman year of college that I was going to "numchuck" Pat's wife. This is true, except now I'm going to nunchuck her.



Christopher Meloni - This would be the world's most perfect union, since on Law & Order: SVU he plays Elliot Stabler opposite Olivia Benson (and, in case you didn't know, my name is Olivia) and the sexual tension between them is so thick you could cut it with a piece of dental floss.




James McAvoy - I really have nothing to say about him except "Yes please."







Dermot Mulroney - See above







John Munch - I don't care if he's a fictional character. He's real to me.








Yo-Yo Ma - I must point out that with his last name, my child would be "BoMa." Which is awesome.




Barry Manilow - My BoM would for sure be a Fanilow. I'd sing "Mandy" while it was still in utero.






Cheech Marin - I'm just really excited that now I know his last name.







Sheen, Martin - Can I just say that I love what punctuation does for our language? One comma can turn a first name into a last. Like magic. And indeed Sheen, Martin is magic. Added bonus: PoTUS would by my husband and BoM would be my child.




John McCain - This one's just for shock value. But really, "BoMcCain"? It sounds like an off-brand anesthetic.






Meat Loaf - So his name is actually Michael Lee Aday (born Marvin), but when I was Googling celebrities with M last names (and yes, I'm just that cool), he was on the list. I think we would call our child "Baby Loaf." This is especially amusing for me considering that whenever I play 20 Questions with my best friend, we always begin with one of two questions: 1) "Is it bigger than a baby?" or 2) "Is it bigger than a bread box?" My child would a baby and a [bread] loaf.

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