Every morning for the past several weeks I have woken up with this knot in my stomach that never seems to unravel. It's irritating, the lack of communication between my body and my mind, two warring continents. I feel hollow. I feel nauseous. I feel overwhelmed. Since graduation--and really, way before that--I've been asked to map out my future like an atlas. It's as if only one possible future exists, and up until now I have been okay with that. It has been comforting, actually, to know that there was nothing remarkable about my post-college plans. I was going to be eating microwaveable macaroni and cheese just like everyone else my age.
Somehow, and I'm not quite sure how, I discovered that this knot in my stomach dissolves everything except for the feeling I get when I play my guitar from Melbourne or listen to my Australian playlist on iTunes or scroll through the thousands of pictures I took during my ten months abroad. The theme song of McLeod's Daughters, which I found ridiculous the first handful of times I heard it, is suddenly the most accurate utterance of my life: "It'll take some time to find your heart and come back home." It has taken some time, but I realize now without a doubt that I belong under a different sky. I won't be there soon, and I might not be there permanently, but I will be there.
Melbourne, I'm coming home.
As much as I want to cry and blubber because this means you'll be on a different continent than me, maybe for the rest of our lives, I am so proud of you for knowing exactly what you want and caring enough to go for it!
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