20 Ways to Make or Break My Day

If you ever need a surefire way to ruin my day, here is a list of things to do:

1. Make me call someone I don't know (or, like they love doing at work, make me call 30 someones I don't know).
2. Have the Sounders lose.
3. Get me excited about the most recent Wait Wait only to have me realize that I've already listened to it but iTunes seems to think I haven't.
4. Air a rerun of House instead of a new episode.
5. Make it super rainy so my bus is late getting into Seattle, thereby making me exactly on time to work rather than my usual six minutes early.
6. Utter the words "loan repayment."
7. Announce that Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler will never be together. 
8. Announce that Bones and Booth will never be together.
9. Announce that House and Cuddy will not stay together.
10. Tell me that I'll never go back to Melbourne. 

If after you've ruined my day you wish to make amends, here is what perks me up:

1. Pictures of baby porcupines.
2. Homemade applesauce.
3. Tea.
4. When my cat lets me pet her without "mistaking" my hand for a small rodent.
5. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
6. Ira Glass, Peter Sagal, Carl Kasell, Paula Poundstone, Amy Dickinson, PJ O'Rourke, Tom Bodett, Adam Felber, Roxanne Roberts, Kiri O'Connor, Paul Provenza, Roy Blount Jr, Luke Burbank, Jen "Flash" Andrews, Garrison Keillor, Sue Scott, Tim Russell, Fred Newman, Terry Gross, Steve Inskeep. By themselves or in every possible combination.
7. Everything ever written by Bill Bryson.
8. Australian accents.
9. Indian accents.
10. Accents of any kind. 

Note: #s 2, 4, 7, 8, 9, and 10 in the first list cannot and will not be forgiven, no matter the extent to which you adhere to the second list.