"Olivia! At least wait until I die!"

I'll give you $20 if you can guess what I said to elicit that response.
(This excludes you, Sara Myers, because we just discussed this.)

Okay. I'm just going to tell you.

1. This is a photograph of an apple. This particular apple has been put through my mom's apple corer that simultaneously cores the apple and slices the fruit in a spiral. This core got stuck so my mom stopped partway through and cut off the part that was already sliced.

When I walked into the kitchen and saw this on the counter, I burst out laughing. "What?" my mom asked. I picked up the apple, nearly doubled over. "Do you see this thing?" Her smile was quickly replaced by that look she gets when she's trying to be scornful but is actually secretly amused. "Yes I see it," she said. "And I know what you see, but I don't see what you see." You couldn't pay her for better quips than this.

So at this point I was basically on the floor (I know, it's really not that funny). "I'm putting this on my blog!" I gasped. "I already posted that you did the hula!"

And that's when it came: The Gold Nugget of my month. "Oh God, Olivia! At least wait until I die!"

I most certainly will not, Mother.